We arrived at the ballpark. I'm feeling pretty confident at this time, the sun is going down and the lime green polyester "Angel Flight" pants and 50% satin, 50% rayon shirt are not so uncomfortable. I smell a possible "Going Steady Situation" blooming. We all stand for the national anthem, yes! It's nice to live in a free country where a 15 year old has a chance to make out with a good looking girl. Come to think of it, I wasn't sure what she looked like (red flag) at this point it did not matter she called me (red flag) and wanted to meet me (red flag). I cast a quick look around and I finally realize that up in the bleachers, in the top row, with a clear, unobstructed view of where I stood at the right field foul line, waiting for a mysterious girl I've never met (red flag) was my brother and a couple of his buddies (red flag red flag red flag).
First inning: I stand looking around thinking any minute the mysterious admirer is going to walk up. It could happen. (red flag)
Second inning: Still no sign of mysterious admirer. There are lots of others walking around, mostly near the snack bar and bleachers (red flag) about 300 feet from where I was waiting, waiting and watching for my dream date.
Third inning: I beginning to feel like there are forces a work here.
Fourth inning: If you've been to any ball park you know that the right field corner where the foul ball line meets the five foot chain link fence is a pretty shadowy place. (red flag)
Top of the fifth inning: Now this is about the time I started to get that sick pressure building nausea slowly starting to tell me,
Stomach: "Something is up!"
It's a feeling more of fear than humility at first, but humiliation is right around the bend and headed straight towards me at sixty miles an hour.
Bottom of the fifth inning of a long inning: Still no sign of the mysterious admirer. The deafening reality has started to unravel my hopes. I think "This is not gonna happen. Where is she?" My senses seemed to become more acute and my eye sight became hawk-like as I scanned the bleachers freezing on my brother. I zoomed in, searching his face, looking for some clue to tell me that he was at the bottom of this. I'm thinking, "He's too calm. He's too calm." I'm beginning to really panic.
Top of the Sixth: Still no mysterious admirer is approaching me as I stand by myself alone in right field. No! I realize I've been had. This is all a set up! My mind is in full emergency panic. Now it is pounding the message "Run Home! Run the eight miles home you fool!" But my horny hormones, even though weakening, were still pounding powerfully over and over. Girls! Girls! Girls!.The situation is imploding and I no longer trust any decision I make now I've let my own self down.
Bottom of the Sixth: It's a hopeless issue at this point. I start to peel my hands off the fence, no wait she may be running late. No, go. So I go and as I pass the dug out I hear my name called out. It was one of my bro's buddies who had been sitting up in the bleachers. I look straight at him as he states in the most sympathetic voice of compassion I've ever heard (I almost cried out OH GOD! but I didn't, I just wanted to make it back to my dad's truck) "Hey your brother is fucking with you." The words have echoed in my head to this day.
The Fly: (in my mind) I'LL FUCKING KILL ALL OF YOU!! (what I actually said) "Yeah I know."
In his own way my older brother taught me a few things.
1. Don't believe everything you hear. (red flag)
2. Don't be so naive if you feel something is not right, it probably isn't. (red flag)
3. More importantly, never underestimate the power of misinformation. (red flag)
In closing I'd like to share this with you:
"This is not the scene I dreamed of, Like much else nowadays I leave it feeling stupid, like a man who lost his way long ago but presses on a long road that may lead nowhere".
J.M Coetzee "Waiting for the Barbarians"
The Serial Landscaper
First inning: I stand looking around thinking any minute the mysterious admirer is going to walk up. It could happen. (red flag)
Second inning: Still no sign of mysterious admirer. There are lots of others walking around, mostly near the snack bar and bleachers (red flag) about 300 feet from where I was waiting, waiting and watching for my dream date.
Third inning: I beginning to feel like there are forces a work here.
Fourth inning: If you've been to any ball park you know that the right field corner where the foul ball line meets the five foot chain link fence is a pretty shadowy place. (red flag)
Top of the fifth inning: Now this is about the time I started to get that sick pressure building nausea slowly starting to tell me,
Stomach: "Something is up!"
It's a feeling more of fear than humility at first, but humiliation is right around the bend and headed straight towards me at sixty miles an hour.
Bottom of the fifth inning of a long inning: Still no sign of the mysterious admirer. The deafening reality has started to unravel my hopes. I think "This is not gonna happen. Where is she?" My senses seemed to become more acute and my eye sight became hawk-like as I scanned the bleachers freezing on my brother. I zoomed in, searching his face, looking for some clue to tell me that he was at the bottom of this. I'm thinking, "He's too calm. He's too calm." I'm beginning to really panic.
Top of the Sixth: Still no mysterious admirer is approaching me as I stand by myself alone in right field. No! I realize I've been had. This is all a set up! My mind is in full emergency panic. Now it is pounding the message "Run Home! Run the eight miles home you fool!" But my horny hormones, even though weakening, were still pounding powerfully over and over. Girls! Girls! Girls!.The situation is imploding and I no longer trust any decision I make now I've let my own self down.
Bottom of the Sixth: It's a hopeless issue at this point. I start to peel my hands off the fence, no wait she may be running late. No, go. So I go and as I pass the dug out I hear my name called out. It was one of my bro's buddies who had been sitting up in the bleachers. I look straight at him as he states in the most sympathetic voice of compassion I've ever heard (I almost cried out OH GOD! but I didn't, I just wanted to make it back to my dad's truck) "Hey your brother is fucking with you." The words have echoed in my head to this day.
The Fly: (in my mind) I'LL FUCKING KILL ALL OF YOU!! (what I actually said) "Yeah I know."
In his own way my older brother taught me a few things.
1. Don't believe everything you hear. (red flag)
2. Don't be so naive if you feel something is not right, it probably isn't. (red flag)
3. More importantly, never underestimate the power of misinformation. (red flag)
In closing I'd like to share this with you:
"This is not the scene I dreamed of, Like much else nowadays I leave it feeling stupid, like a man who lost his way long ago but presses on a long road that may lead nowhere".
J.M Coetzee "Waiting for the Barbarians"
The Serial Landscaper
